


Hold Me Tight (Or Don't)

by Adaridaba



Series: You're Holy to Me [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asmodeus is mentioned once or twice, Brotherly Bonding, Castiel is a Good Bro, Crying Gabriel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Being an Asshole, Dean Winchester being a dick, Fluff and Angst, Gabe loses it for a bit, Gabriel Loves Sam Winchester, Hurt Gabriel (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Sam Winchester Loves Gabriel, Worried Sam Winchester, broken/injured wings, but its fine, but its fine cause hes dead, it's not really addressed much yet, panic attacks of sort, they're working on it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 10:03:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16741930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adaridaba/pseuds/Adaridaba
Summary: There was also this heavy weight in his chest that just wouldn't go away. Like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for Asmodeus’s laugh to be heard, and for Gabriel to find himself chained back up in his little cell, his perceived freedom just a twisted trick that the Prince of Hell had concocted to entertain himself.But, that hadn’t happened and Gabriel was starting to regret his decision of just up and leaving his mate after not seeing him in years.orGabriel is finally free and gets to be with Sam again, but that doesn't mean everything is magically fixed.





	1. Troubled Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiii, so this is the second part of my series. The first part is not really needed to understand this at all, just know that the team was able to get Gabriel back after he suffered some pretty intense trauma from Asmodeus and that in this current part Asmodeus is dead. Also sorry for making Dean such a dick in this, it will resolve itself in future parts! 
> 
> This is not beta'd so all mistakes are mine, constructive criticism is more than welcome. That being said, hope ya'll enjoy!

Gabriel hadn’t intentionally tried to avoid the Winchesters after they saved him. He just couldn’t find it in himself to stay still. Finally being able to move after _years_ of being chained up dose that. There was also this heavy weight in his chest that just wouldn't go away. Like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for Asmodeus’s laugh to be heard, and for Gabriel to find himself chained back up in his little cell, his perceived freedom just a twisted trick that the Prince of Hell had concocted to entertain himself.

But, that hadn’t happened and Gabriel was starting to regret his decision of just up and leaving his mate, especially after not seeing one another for so long.

Sam seemed to have understood before Gabriel had left. Or at least he hoped so, he had been in a rush to get out of there.

⁂⁂⁂

The look in Sam’s eyes when he informed the gang that he wasn’t staying broke his heart. There was that pull to comfort his mate, to hold him tight and to never leave his side. But he couldn’t. Not then, at the time he had to move.

Dean’s attitude had made it easier to leave. The older Winchester’s face had quickly turned furious when Gabriel shared his news of leaving. The look had sent shivers down the archangel's spine. 

The shame of such a pathetic reaction on his part still hadn’t gone away.

His shoulders had slumped down in surrender as Dean yelled on about how Gabriel didn’t have any choice but to help them. The archangel stayed silent and began to fidget, his want to leave, to move, had grown stronger.

Dean stepping forward to grab at him cemented Gabriel's decision in leaving. He felt terrified and couldn’t stop himself from taking a step back. He tried to play it off, though he’s pretty sure Sam saw the fear clear in his eyes if him pulling Dean away from Gabriel was anything indication.

With a parting look at Sam, Gabriel gave a small apologetic smile and left. 

Of course he would help them, but at the time he couldn’t, he just really needed to _move_.

⁂⁂⁂

He had been moving non-stop. It felt nice to not be bounded by chains, to breath fresh air. To feel the sun on his skin and wind literally beneath his wings. He felt liberated.

Especially after being in a cramped cell for so long. 

It must have really done a number on him, he hadn’t remembered loving warm weather and fresh air this much.

Within his second week of moving, a pain began to seep into his left shoulder. Slowly making itself more present as the week went on.

He ignored it.

It was nothing. 

Moving was his main focus. 

Whenever he got tired and decided to stop for just a little bit, he would take the opportunity to check up on Sam, not physically, but through their connection. 

He couldn’t go back yet, but he wanted to make sure nothing too bad happened while he was gone. 

Not that he would be able to prevent anything, but keeping an eye on Sam made him feel okay. It kept him at ease when he wasn’t moving. 

So Gabriel continued his pattern. Move, rest, check on Sam, and then move some more.

⁂⁂⁂

Sam had been dozing off at the table when the sound of loud yelling jolted him awake. Dean and Castiel’s voices were going back and forth in various degrees of upset from the kitchen.

“Lover’s spat” he grumbled out with a huff, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He elected to ignore them returning his attention back to the book he had been reading. A few more shouts from the kitchen and Sam gives up. 

There was no way he could focus with them going back and forth. Might as well check and see what was going on. 

As he walked into the kitchen he first saw his brother pacing back and forth with constipated look on his face. Castiel, standing a couple feet away from him, looked on exasperated, arms crossed.

“Dean, you can’t just-”

“The hell I can’t Cas! I know we agreed to give him some time but that assholes has been gone for nearly four weeks.”

Sam grimaced.

So they were arguing about Gabriel… Again. 

It really had been four weeks since they last saw him. Sam couldn’t say he wasn’t sad when Gabriel had left, especially after not seeing each other for so long, but he understood. Gabriel had been on edge after he had taken out Asmodeus. Continuously fidgeting and looking around the room as if he couldn’t really believe he was there. It hurt Sam seeing his mate flinch away from Dean’s yelling instead of retaliating with some joke or snarky comment. 

He knew his mate needed to leave and move around, just to know that he could. Before Gabriel had ‘died’ the archangel was always moving, albeit in a more laid-back way, but it was how he got out his pent up energy. Sam couldn’t imagine how terrible it must had been being with Asmodeus in Hell for his archangel to be that restless. Gabriel had needed to be elsewhere, on the move, at least for a while.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts by a grunt from his brother and an irritated sigh from Castiel. 

If Castiel was irritated, it means that this has been going on for at least 45 minutes.

“Dean,” Sam tried to get his brothers attention, disapproving bitchface on full display.

Dean rolled his eyes and looked over at Sam, crossing his arm over his chest,

“Sam, you call him, he’ll listen to you.” 

Sam blinked. 

He could call Gabriel. In fact he really wanted to. Wanted to see him. It had been four weeks… 

But still. 

“I don’t think that’s the best idea…” he decided. Gabriel needed time and Sam wanted to give Gabriel all the time he needed.

“I agree with Sam” Castiel moved to stand next to him in a move of solidarity. Sam could see Dean begin to grind his teeth before he dropped his arms from his chest.

“Look Sammy, I’m just asking you to get him here so we can talk okay? We really need him” he grumbled out. 

Castiel gave Dean a skeptical look before rolling his eyes and glancing in Sams' direction.

Sam ran a hand through his hair feeling torn. Dean wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted, and Sam _really_ wanted to see Gabriel. 

If anything Gabriel could just say no...

Sighing, Sam gave his brother a flat look, 

“Only to talk?”

Rolling his eyes Dean nodded, “Yeah sure, I promise.”

Sam sighed, what the hell,

_Gabriel I know we haven’t talked in a bit...but can you stop by? Please? Dean wants to talk… and I want to see you._

Minutes passed in silence. Sam felt his disappointment slowly grow.

Dean tapped his foot impatiently. 

Another minute passed when Dean let out an angry huff,

“Sam did you even-” 

_Woosh._

Everyone’s attention shifted to the new presence in the middle of the kitchen.

Sam perked up immediately.

Gabriel was there, hands in a pair of loose fitting sweatpants and a long sleeved maroon shirt. Sam resisted the urge to tackle his archangel into a hug.

His mate had always been boisterous, filled with mischief, and radiated energy like a miniature sun. But now he was subdued, quiet and unnervingly calm as his eyes scanned the room.

His gaze skimmed over Dean, briefly landed on Castiel then settled on Sam. 

Sam felt his lips twitch into a small smile, his heart aching when Gabriel gave him the tiniest of smiles back. It was a real smile, Sam realized. Not the forced one he had given before leaving. Granted it was nowhere near the smile Gabriel usually had, but it gave Sam some hope that Gabriel was making some progress. That he would get back his Gabriel who would appear at random times with wide smiles, jokes, laughter and candy in hand.

Sam’s smile dimmed. Even though it was a real smile, Gabriel was tense. Very tense. He also seemed to be favoring his right side. His left shoulder being slightly lowered. 

Sam swallowed before taking a step towards the archangel,

“Hey Gabe,” he addressed the other softly.

Gabriel quickly stepped away.

Sam froze.

He then watched as Gabriel’s eyes widened at the seemingly unconscious action. His mate cheeks flushed a light pink. Sam gaped.

Gabriel was embarrassed by his own reaction.

Gabriel spoke softly, “Hey kiddo,” before letting out a small cough and taking a step back towards him. 

Sam itched to wrap his arms around him and offer some sort of comfort, to tell him how much he was missed, but he had the feeling that Gabriel wouldn’t react well to any sort of touch at the moment.

Instead Sam glanced over at Castiel and Dean. 

Sam liked to think that he’s known Castiel long enough to know when the angel was worried, and right now, the look he was sending in Gabriel’s direction was full of worry. Upon further observation Sam noticed how he wasn’t really staring directly at Gabriel but behind him, over his left shoulder.

Sam bit his lower lip. 

Could it be something to do with Gabriel’s wing? Had he been hurt this entire time?

Dean chose that moment to let out an annoyed grunt as he stepped up to the archangel.

At Dean’s quick movement Gabriel actually flinched away from the center of the kitchen towards Sam’s side. Sam instinctively placed his hand on the small of Gabriel’s back in an attempt to steady him only for the archangel to shudder at the touch and step away, putting distance between himself and both Winchester.

Dean rubbed a hand down his face and continued on as if nothing happened, 

“Come on dude, we gave you time to get your shit together. It's time to stop your pity party and help us out.”

“Dean...” Castiel warned with a scowl.

Sam felt his stomach drop. This wasn’t going to go well.

Glancing over at Castiel Dean continued, 

“Cas we already discussed this, he owes us!”

“I don’t owe you anything. Besides I’m here now.”

Sam had to do a double-take to ensure that those words actually left his mate’s mouth. They sounded so quiet, and unlike Gabriel.

But there his mate stood, blank faced meeting the elder hunter’s burning gaze. 

Sam recognized the slight tremble Gabriel’s body gave. 

He was scared. Of Dean?

“Dean…” he tried to interfere before the conversation could get worse, but he was interrupted by Dean harsh laugh.

“He says he doesn't owe me anything? Sure, I’ll let that slide, but you should have been here four weeks ago dude. Instead you have been to busy being a worthless coward, jacking around doing nothing,” Dean began to pace around the room.

Sam watched as Gabriel took a couple of steps back, placing more distance between himself and the older Winchester. 

No, not scared, at least not yet, but definitely intimidated.

“I mean you literally took down Asmodeus then what? Bitched out on us cause you were to scared to commit to helping someone who wasn’t yourself?”

“Shut it,” Gabriel growled. Sam watched with growing worry as Gabriel roll his left shoulder. Like some sort of tic. 

It looked painful.

Sam tried to silently move closer to Gabriel while his mates eyes were still on Dean.

He could try and calm the angel down. 

Gabriel's eyes instantly tracked his movement and glared Sam down. Sam stopped.

Maybe that wasn’t a good idea then. There was on point in riling him up even more.

Gabriel’s body trembled slightly as he backed away from Sam, placing himself against one of the far walls of the kitchen. His hands had left his pockets and curled into fists, his glare focusing back on the older Winchester. 

Dean didn’t seem to have a care in the world and laughed again as he walked towards the aggravated archangel.

Sam was ready to grab his brother but Castiel beat him to it, placing a firm grip on Dean’s shoulder and gently pulling him back,

“Dean, that’s enough you’re-”

Dean snorted and shoved Castiel’s hand off, 

“No Cas, I’m just saying what we all know is true. Gabriel, you are the only one who can help us, you don’t get a choice in this.”

Sam hears Gabriel’s breathing increase and watches as the archangel starts to look distressed,

“I do get a choice…I’m my own being….” The uneasiness of the statement as it left Gabriel's lips made Sam’s heart clench. 

Enough was enough, 

“Listen Dean, seriously it's time to back off.”

“Sammy stay out of this, I know he’s your mate and all that shit but that doesn't mean he can just be a freeloader. Everyone does their part here,” Dean waved a hand in dismissal at Sam as he approached the archangel.

The hand movement causes Gabriel to jerk back against the wall, a small cry leaving his lips upon impact. 

His left wing...

Dean ignored the cry, a sneer on his face as he looked down at the archangel.

“Gabriel, really? Think about it, if it wasn’t for us you wouldn’t even be here right now.”

“Dean!” Castiel hissed, expression thunderous.

“Hell, let’s just all be real here, you would still be Asmodeus’s little bitch. ” 

The tremors that were racking Gabriel’s body stopped. Along with the archangel’s breathing.  
Sam watched as everything about him seemed to just stop.

The temperature in the room felt like it was steadily increasing. Sam swore as watched his mate cautiously, 

“Um...Gabe…?” 

Nothing.. 

“Gabriel…?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Stop being such a bitch and do as your told.”

At the comment Gabriel looked as though he had been stricken.

Then Sam watched in horror as Dean gripped Gabriel’s left shoulder, _hard._

Shit.

Gabriel’s face switched to one of pain.

Then his eyes flashed blue.

Dean was suddenly being held by his throat against the very wall Gabriel had been backed up against.

The temperature had risen significantly as power buzzed throughout the kitchen, lights flickering on and off. 

An inhuman growl was coming from deep within Gabriel,

“I owe you nothing. Don’t ever think you can own me, you lowly human. If you dare touch me again, I will cut off your hands. It’s the least I could do for you.” He snarled as his voice rang out throughout the room. 

Dean tried to dislodge the hand gripping his throat with no success. Instead Gabriel’s glare intensified, grip tightening to effectively cut off Dean’s oxygen.

“Brother, stop!” Castiel attempted to move towards his own mate, only to be flung back with a look alone.

Panic built up in Sam’s chest. If Gabriel kept this up he would kill Dean.

Slowly he inched his way towards the archangel, “Gabriel,” he called out, gaining the attention of the archangel’s glare.

Which was extremely terrifying at the moment.

The sheer amount of power that was radiating off Gabriel had the archangel shaking. 

Sam watched Gabriel cautiously as he rose his hands to show he was not a threat. Gabriel’s tear filled glare landed upon him.

Wait. Sam paused, what?

Sam watched, shocked as tears continued to stream out of Gabriel’s glowing eyes and down his cheeks. At that moment he realized that his mates body wasn’t shaking from power, but from terror and pain.

Gabriel was trying to defend himself.

Sam took a deep breath and made up his mind.

“Gabe, it's Sam…your mate...” he started softly and slowly moved towards the archangel. “You got to let him go okay…?”

Gabriel bared his teeth before shaking his head, “No… you don’t know what he’s done to me, he needs to pay,” Gabriel’s attention stayed on Dean.

Sam quickly realized however that he wasn’t seeing Dean. 

“Gabriel, that’s Dean. You know Dean, sure he’s a dick, but he didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Gabriel paused, his mate was hearing him out.

“He’s not Asmodeus okay? This isn’t Hell, it’s the bunker. You’re safe here and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, not here…”

Dean chose that exact moment to make a sound, probably trying to get air in his lungs.

Sam winced, the archangels full attention was back on his brother. Gabriel narrowed his eyes before tightening his grip.

“Gabriel!” Without pause Sam reach out and grabbed Gabriel’s free hand firmly in his own. His other hand went to rest against Gabriel’s cheek, thumb wiping away some of the tears, 

“Gabriel, that’s not who you think it is. You are in the bunker, your brother’s here, his mate is here, I’m here. You are safe, come on Gabe, please come back to me.”

Gabriel’s hold on Dean slackened before he dropped him completely. His eyes faded form their glowing blue back to their whisky brown. Sam could still see the fear that was slowly accumulating in them as his mate scanned their surroundings.

Turing Gabriel to face him, he brings his other hand to gently cup the back of the archangels neck before glancing over at his brother.

Dean was sitting on the floor coughing and trying to get his airflow going again. Castiel was there beside him before Sam knew it, a furious but worried expression on his face. The angel glanced up at Sam who gave a simple nod and gestured his head to the living room. Castiel got the message, grabbed Dean by the back of his jacket and proceeded to haul him out of the room.

Castiel's thunderous expression as he dragged Dean out definitely proved that Dean would not be let off easily. Dean was going to get an earful, and rightfully so.

He turned his attention back to his archangel whose body had began to tremble as soon as the other two cleared the room.

“Hey, hey shhh, shh you’re okay” Sam spoke softly wiping away oncoming tears.

A broken whimper left Gabriel’s mouth, 

“I’m sorry Sam. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to... Shit, I thought that... I’m…”

Sam squeezed the back of Gabriel’s neck reassuringly, using his other had to guide Gabriel’s to look up at him.

“Gabe hey its okay, come on, just breathe for me.”

Gabriel’s eyes close as he shakes his head, takes a deep breath in before letting it out. Sam watches as he does this a couple more times before he lets out a broken sob and collapses against his chest.

Sam let out out a sigh of relief as he gently wraps his arms around Gabriel, being sure to be mindful of his left shoulder.

A couple minutes pass in silence before Gabriel pulls away with a sniff and rotates his shoulder, making Sam wince in sympathy,

“Sam, I’m sorry…Dean’s probably-”

Sam reaches out for one of Gabriel’s hands and interlaces their fingers. 

“Gabe you have no reason to apologize, Dean was being a dick and crossed the line. Besides, you weren’t really there for a bit. But now that you are, just remember you are safe here okay? We won’t make you do anything you don’t want to, and that includes Dean too.”

Gabriel nodded and gave Sam’s hand a gentle squeeze before sighing loudly,

“I want to help you guys, was always planning to, that's one of the reasons I came back when you called. It's just….” he trailed off biting down on his lower lip. 

Sam ran his thumb encouragingly across his mates knuckles.

“The way he demanded it, and just some of the words he used, I.. well...it just reminded me of…”

Sam waited patiently not wanting to push.

“He made it seem as if you guys owned me and that...it reminded me of _him_ and then he touched me... it just set me off.”

Sam nods in understanding, _him_ being Asmodeus. “Dean should have backed off when he told him to Gabriel. I’m pretty sure Cas is ripping him a new one as we speak,” he runs a hand through Gabriel’s hair, cherishing the way Gabriel closes his eyes and leans into it. 

“Yeah, Cassie’s definitely tearing into him” Gabriel stated before looking down at his feet. “But anyways um… as I mentioned earlier I came back for a couple of reasons.”

Sam’s interest peaked as he watched the archangel begin to shift his weight back and forth, it was definetnly a new nervous habit that he wasn’t use to seeing on his mate. 

To steady his nerves Sam brings Gabriel’s hand to his lips and places a kiss upon it, “Shoot.”

It seemed to work as Gabriel stopped moving, a light blush spread over his cheeks, 

and oh how much Sam had missed that.

“So I did come to help out, before Dean went all dick-tator, but I also need Castiel’s help with something…”

Sam raised an eyebrow, he had a suspicion he already knew. “Help? With what?”

“Nothing important,” Gabriel waved him off, Sam knew that wasn’t true but he nodded. He didn’t want to push.

“Any other reasons?” Sam asked instead.

At that question Gabriel smiled. It was a real smile. The one that Sam had missed so much and believed would take a much longer time to see again. 

“It’s my main reason,” his archangel straightened up, smile still in place before standing up onto his toes and giving him a peck on the lips, 

“You.”

Sam knew that he probably looked ridiculous with his flushed face and dopey smile, but he couldn’t care less. Gabriel was back.


	2. Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some brotherly bonding with wing fixing followed by trying to find a new normal

“You’re hurt” Castiel states with a frown as he walked into what was now Gabriel’s room. Gabriel kinda wished they gave him a different one, or at least re-painted the walls. He would have just snapped all the writing away himself, but it would drain his slowly building grace. Hell, they should have just stuck him in Sam’s room, that’s where he usually ended up anyway. 

But it was nice having a room to go sulk in, like he was doing before Castiel interrupted. 

Gabriel shifted from where he sat on the bed, biting the inside of his cheek.

Pretending like he didn’t know what his brother was talking about probably wouldn’t work. But it would give him more time to stall, so what the hell.

“What are you rambling on about?” he looked away from the far left wall, eyes falling on his brother. 

For a moment he wished Sam was there. Wished Castiel was Sam coming to call him out on his bull. But no, Sam and Dean were both off on some hunt for one of the things they needed to mix up with his grace or something.

In all honesty he hadn’t been paying much attention, too busy re-memorizing Sam’s features after being apart for so long. His mate had still looked the same, but his soul showed how much had really happened while Gabriel had been away. It was definitely sulk worthy.

“You told Sam that you needed my help with something,” 

Gabriel snapped back to the present. 

Damn, of course Castiel had heard them talking in the kitchen. 

Castiel fully stepping into the room. He raised an eyebrow as his eyes skimmed some of the passages on the right-side of the room. 

Gabriel shifted his weight again then gave a small shrug, pain pulsed down his left shoulder at the movement.

Castiel’s attention focused back on Gabriel and the archangel felt himself still under his brothers intense frown.

“It’s your left wing isn’t it?” 

Guess he wasn’t doing that great of a job hiding it. He’s surprised Sam hadn’t pushed him to spill when he noticed. His mate really had changed. Regardless Gabriel should have known he couldn’t fool both of them.

“Maybe so,” he hummed out quietly. He was aware that Castiel could see his wings. He couldn’t exactly hide them at the moment because of the state they were in, but he managed to keep them closer to his body than usual. It was probably extremely obvious to Castiel how Gabriel’s wing resided tucked in an unusually angle on his left side compared to his right. He had tried his best to even them out, but that was rather difficult with the constant underlying pain.

“How damaged is it?”

Gabriel stayed silent. If even possible Castiel's frown deepened.

“How long has it been like that?” 

How much pain are you in, went unspoken. 

Gabriel glanced up at his brother mouth open, ready to assure him that it wasn’t as bad as it looked when Castiel saw right through him and interrupted, 

“Don’t think about lying to me brother,” and so Gabriel's mouth snapped shut.

Castiel was right, there wasn’t really a point in lying.

Castiel’s gaze softened as he sat down on the edge of the bed, Gabriel’s body automatically tensed up.

Dammit, it was just his brother, he wasn’t going to do anything to Gabriel.

“Gabriel please, I just want to help you.”

_I know that._

Gabriel bit his bottom lip, took a deep breath and waited a bit before letting it out.

Just answer his questions, they’re not hard.

“It’s been like this… for just a little while….five years max” he admitted softly.

Which wasn’t a lie, it had been. It had also been broken in several places multiple times within those five years. But Castiel didn’t need to know that.

Castiel let out a sharp gasp, unable to hold back his shock.

Shame burned under Gabriel’s skin. He pulls his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around them in attempt to hide himself, to make himself smaller. 

The look on his brother’s face….it made him feel pathetic.

“Gabriel,”

Gabriel hummed.

“I need you to honestly answer one more question.” Castiel's voice was so soft. He had never talked to Gabriel with that tone of voice before.

Gabriel sighed already knowing the question.

“Why was this not the first thing you asked for when we got you back?”

It was actually a really simple question with a really simple answer. Gabriel had it on the tip of his tongue but shame prevented him from sharing it. Instead he glanced away from his brother and shrugged with his good shoulder. He twitched at the stab of pain that came with it.

Castiel stood quickly hands clenched into fist. Gabriel’s eyes widened at the sudden movement but stayed where he was. 

Anything that Castiel did to him he would have deserved. And that was it wasn't it?

“You...you thought you deserved it, no _deserve_ the pain it brings you….”

Gabriel watched shocked as unshed tears of anger, or possibly frustration, filled Castiel’s eyes.

Well now Gabriel felt horrible. He had never seen Castiel cry before, had never wanted to. Yet here his brother was crying because of him.

He couldn’t help but wonder how much Castiel hated him. It must be a lot. There was loads of reasons that justified it. Gabriel skipping out on Heaven, then faking his death, then being an idiot and getting himself caught and imprisoned for years, only to come back and attack Castiel’s mate. 

Tears burned behind his eyes.

“Cas…” he unfurled himself and stood slowly, eyes not really meeting his brothers, “I’m sorry I made you upset, I should have told you sooner. You have every right to be upset with me. And I’m sorry for being such a fuck-up of a bother, I know that doesn't count as an excuse and if you hate me that’s totally understandable. I mean I attacked your mate, what kind of-”

He choked off, when he made eye contact with Castiel’s blazing gaze. 

He couldn’t help it as he flinched away from Castiel’s stare, tears spilled as he closed his eyes, reflexively readying himself for the an incoming blow.

Castiel let out a small sigh, “You are an idiot Gabriel, I don’t hate you” he spoke quietly.

Gabriel opened his eyes in confusion when his brothers arms slowly wrapped around him, gently pulling against Castiel's chest.

Gabriel was stuck. He had no idea what to do. Part of him wanted to pull away, believing that he didn't deserve such a kindness from his brother. The other part of him, the logical one apparently, wanted to stay there.

Castiel was warm.

He felt himself slowly relax. 

“I’m not angry at you, I am angry for you. Angry with all you have had to go through alone. Angry at that vile demon who did this to you and made you believe you are nothing. If he wasn’t already dead, I would have killed him with my bare hands.”

Gabriel blinked the tears away from his eyes. 

“Oh…” 

He didn’t know what else to say.

Castiel ran a soothing hand down his right shoulder, lightly touching a few feathers of his right wing. 

Gabriel leaned into the touch. He hadn’t felt a gentle touch on his wings in ages. 

Castiel stilled his hand, “And yes, it was stupid of you not to have come to me about your wings sooner, but please don’t think for a minute that you deserve this pain, or any pain you have gone through in these past years.”

Gabriel let out a small sniff.

“Also Dean definitely had it coming to him. Do not feel bad about being pushed into panic, especially when someone blatantly ignored all the signs. It was not your fault. Do you understand?”

Gabriel gave a quick nod.

“Okay now that I have made that clear, if you could please stop being a stubborn assbutt and let me help you that would be great.”

Gabriel let out a watery laugh, at the half hearted insult, “Yeah... yeah okay sounds good.”

Castile took a step back giving Gabriel the space he needed to spread out his wings.

Gabriel shivered, already missing his siblings warmth. He needed more of that immediately.  
Maybe Castiel wouldn’t mind a cuddle sesh or two once this was all done with.

His attention focused back onto his brother. He couldn’t help but start shifting back and forth, his heart rate steadily increasing. He felt so exposed and his wings weren’t even fully visible yet.

“So… you want me to just whip it all the way out or…?” he joked in attempt to cover his nerves.

Castiel tilted his head to the side with a small frown. It wasn’t too successful then.

An internal battle was growing within Gabriel. He couldn’t stop the memories from flooding back. The times when he was asked, well no, forced to take out his wings. And sure they were currently already out, but they weren’t on full display.

Castiel takes notice of his discomfort because of course be dose.

“Brother take your time, I am not forcing you to do anything,”

It was annoying to Gabriel how much that simple statement alone calmed his nerves.

Castiel then stepped forward and fully unfurled his own wings, allowing them to wrap around Gabriel.

Oh Castiel...

Warmth surrounded him again. The flood of awful memories were replaced by happier ones. Specifically of when Gabriel would wrap up a younger Castiel in his wings whenever the seraph was hurt or scared, and how it ending up making Castiel feel like he was in one of the safest places in the universe.

Gabriel lets out a sigh. His brother wouldn’t hurt him.

Castiel pulled his wings away as Gabriel shakily unfurled his own. His right wing stung a bit, but the pain was nothing comparable to that of his left side. With both fully out he couldn’t suppress the shudder that ran down his entire being.

Castiel’s eyes widened in awe. 

Apparently archangel wings, no matter what state they were in were still beautiful. Gabriel’s being no exception.

He chanced a glanced at his own wings. He hadn't tried looking at them, afraid of what he would see if he did. 

They.. actually weren't that bad. 

Small golden feathers were growing in place of missing patches. The scares that he had suffered from different angel blades and weapons were a lot better, if but a little inflamed in some places.

He took a closer look at his left wing. It was obvious that it had been broken… in several spots… all which were in different stages of healing.

Gabriel glanced up the same moment Castiel realized that fact.

Well so much for keeping that to himself.

“It was more than once” it wasn’t a question and all Gabriel could do was give a small nod.

Castiel let out a sigh, “I’ll have to re-break some of those so they can heal correctly,” he said apologetically, “It will not be pleasant.”

Gritting his teeth Gabriel nodded. 

He could do this. Castiel was going to help fix him up.

He made his way to the corner of the bed and sat down. Castiel took place behind him and ran a soothing hand down his right wing, silently asking if he was ready.

“Okay, let’s get it done.”

Castiel nodded and moved his hand to Gabriel’s left side. 

Gabriel closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

⁂⁂⁂

“Hey Gabe,” Gabriel tensed as hands wrap around his waist from behind, expecting pain. Instead his back was enveloped in warmth. 

His wings had fully healed thanks to his brother. The process had been long and grueling, but after lots of calming reassurances on Castiel part, they were able to fix all the breaks from his left wing. All that was left were scars and newly growing feathers.

Letting out a content sigh Gabriel allowed himself to snuggle back into the embrace of his mate. He was still getting used to being touched without freaking out, but he was glad he could at least enjoy being in Sam’s arms.

“Heya kid, what’s up?

“Nothing, just wanted to hold you,” Sam smiled and placed his head on top of Gabriel’s.

Unsurprising to Gabriel, Sam had realized quickly that his wings were fixed. From them he tried to get Gabriel use to all sorts of old touches they would share.

As Gabriel came to realize some were more feasible than others. 

He had been avoiding spending time with Dean. He was to blunt at times and Gabriel got extremely uncomfortable whenever he would get on one of his rants. He also didn't like being left in a room alone with the older Winchester. Castiel said that it was okay, and that it would just take time to get use to Dean’s presence again. Gabriel wasn’t so sure.

He had been frustrated to no end when he found out he couldn’t have Sam touch his newly healed wings without falling into a full-blown panic attack, Castiel being the one who managed to bring him back afterwards. 

Apparently he also couldn’t have anyone, especially Sam, stand over him for periods of time without breaking out into a cold sweat. It reminded him too much of Asmodeus and how the Prince of Hell would assert himself over Gabriel at all possible moments to make him feel small. 

It was something that he and Sam were working on, although it was going too slow for Gabriel’s taste. Both Sam and Castiel had told him it was better not to rush, but he still couldn’t help the frustration that came each time he found something else that would freak him out.

“Hey you there?” Gabriel felt Sam’s full weight being draped across his back.

He let out a snort.

Freaking moose.

Sam had began a routine of sorts that he called ‘Checking In’. In which he literally placed all his weight down on Gabriel whenever he would notice the archangel spacing out for too long. It was actually kind of endearing and it worked pretty well in snapping Gabriel back to reality without freaking him out. 

Gabriel suspected it had to do with the fact that Sam was huge, and he essentially operated as a warm weighted blanket. 

Gabriel turned towards Sam’s chest “Yeah, I’m here. Also you’re such a sap” he mumbled as he laid his head against the hunters shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah, but I’m your sap,” Sam laughed before running his hand gently down Gabriel’s left side. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes, smiling against Sam’s shoulder. 

He was still a little broken, sometimes still waiting for the other shoe to drop, but they were working on it. He and Sam were working on it and together they would make steady progress. In the meantime, he would enjoy all the warmth Sam had to offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I already have another thing in the works, not sure how long it will take me but I am always motivated by kudos and comments so go forth!


End file.
